I hate it here. This seems to be the current theme in my blogs.
I have been crying all morning because I can't be myself here, my dad tries to use negative re-enforcement to get me to d the things he wants, and I am being pressured to conform and be a person that I don't want to be. I have no freedom here, none whatsoever. I have the freedom to go to school and come back to the house. I don't call it home because it doesn't feel like one.
I called my mom sobbing today. She talked to me as long as she could because she had to work. I am hoping that she sees I am truly hurting and suffering here. I just want to come home, and I really want to go to Columbia for the Spring Semester. I fell like I can't concentrate on my school work here because I have to do all the tings my family wants me to do here first. I can't concentrate at school because I miss my home, my friends, my mom, and most of all I miss the person who means more to me than anything on this earth.
If I could go back to Sonora I would make sure to finish get my AA in the two years and still transfer. I think by that time I will be ready to go on and move to Sonoma. maybe I can talk to my mom, I think that she will see where I am coming from. I just can't live here, I can't. I need more in my life than negativity and tears.
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i didn't go to uc davis because i didn't like the school or the people i had to interact with. like you, i just didn't fit the cookie cutter types that were allowed there. so i said fuck it! hopefully you can too. columbia is a fun place to go to school, and there are so many awesome teachers there, i really hope things get better for you. tell your mom that i tried it and had to drop out because of the stress, negativity, and crappy people i had to deal with. run away and go back to sonora! you can use my house as a safe house! :) just remember that i love you, everyone does, and that you'll find the strength to keep on keeping on one way or another. :)
ps: i lost my cell phone again :( and so now all i have is internet...but feel free to comment or message me!
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