Fuck!!!! yep that's how I feel. I hate feeling like I try so hard and get nothing from it...maybe I shoud stop trying, give up. That's it maybe i should just stop. It didn't work before he left, what in my mind thinks I could make a better impression this time around. apparently I will always remain "the goody two-shoes." Little does he know....little does anyone fucking know. I have come out of my shell so much in these last four years. I have looked back on everything...I have really busted out. So it looks like the one thing I want....I can't have because I have a consideration for others....damn it!! I have always been there...just a phone call away. Though somehow I can never be given that. Hmm...isn't that how my life is? This guy would tell me all the things wrong with the guy I was dating at the time, and how they wouldn't treat me right...and so on blah, blah, blah. Well....it's funny that he never showed me what I should have. Weird huh? So he cares enough to tell me what I need a guy to do...and this and that...but doesn't care enough for me to show me? I call you on your BULLSHIT! Then later you convince me of something you never did deliver....maybe because I didn't sleep with you? You should know me better than that....come one now. Use your head...oops maybe you did...silly me. Anyway enough ranting for now...maybe i'll have a bettter week.
All My Love,
Melissa
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