A note

So Christmas....wow. What a day. woke up got ready in a half an hour...then left for my dad's. i got a pretty good haul.

• $150 from my dad
• beanie, scarf, glove set from stepmom
• necklace, ornament, and $20 from my Tia Carolina
• Two shirts from Abercrombie( I know mw...and Abercrombie...strange...I had the same reaction), alarm clock-ipod dock thing, dvd player of the smaller size, and some lovely candy from my mom.

So with the $150 I got poi wicks and fire fans.....quite lovely.

I had dinner with Bryant on Saturday....it was fun nothing beats chinese food and coffee. It was great minus the little bit of awkwardness....yeah..there was definately some awkwardness. I think it might have just been me...who knows.

I still want a tattoo...maybe a treble clef in bue real small on my right forearm. Music has been my life so there is nothing more perfect. i think this is what I want.

Fire dancing is coming along well, I should light soon. I am so excited! This is going to be amazing.

Work has been a slow lull in my social life....seriously.

Until next time my friends.

All my Love,

Melissa

hhmm...

I want a tattoo..i don't know what of...but I want one damn it.

Christmas Spirit?

As of tomorrow there is two days until Christmas. Yet I still have no christmas "spirit." I put up my Christmas tree, decorated it the works. But still....it doesn't feel like Christmas is in two weeks. I have had egg nog....watched elf....decorated the store and my house. I feel like i shut down. It seems like someone has pressed my off button. I've been so melancholy these past weeks and I can't say i don't know why I do....but it would be nice to have Christmas spirit...maybe?




Anyway...so today I got to take pictures for Photography in Old Columbia. It was pretty fun...Brian was my model and...he suprised me. he is one of the easiest people to photograph. That made my life so much easier. i went through two roles..if I had more i probabaly would have gone through those too. the light really worked with me right until the last few shots, but I think I got the shots I need. I miss hanging out with him...though there is still an uncomfortable distance between us...




I'm so ready for news years! After that I plan on changing up my life a little bit. i think I'll be a little more carefree with my social life, but work harder on school....that's kind of opposite I know..but that's how I want it to be...I want to dance more too.


Until I feel the need to ramble some more.


All My Love,
Melissa

Sorry for the ranting

Fuck!!!! yep that's how I feel. I hate feeling like I try so hard and get nothing from it...maybe I shoud stop trying, give up. That's it maybe i should just stop. It didn't work before he left, what in my mind thinks I could make a better impression this time around. apparently I will always remain "the goody two-shoes." Little does he know....little does anyone fucking know. I have come out of my shell so much in these last four years. I have looked back on everything...I have really busted out. So it looks like the one thing I want....I can't have because I have a consideration for others....damn it!! I have always been there...just a phone call away. Though somehow I can never be given that. Hmm...isn't that how my life is? This guy would tell me all the things wrong with the guy I was dating at the time, and how they wouldn't treat me right...and so on blah, blah, blah. Well....it's funny that he never showed me what I should have. Weird huh? So he cares enough to tell me what I need a guy to do...and this and that...but doesn't care enough for me to show me? I call you on your BULLSHIT! Then later you convince me of something you never did deliver....maybe because I didn't sleep with you? You should know me better than that....come one now. Use your head...oops maybe you did...silly me. Anyway enough ranting for now...maybe i'll have a bettter week.


All My Love,
Melissa